Our view on social media is changing from FOMO to JOMO

by Finn Majlergaard | 4. Apr, 2025 | Blog

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Relax; FOMO is fading away

FOMO, which is the "Fear Of Missing Out" has for many years been the key enabler for our use of Social Media like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. You have probably read stories about people who got depressed over not being a part of an online group and maybe you are one of those millions of people who are checking your social media accounts, just to make sure you don't miss something important.

The FOMO syndrome is the mania that makes us prioritise social media over real human interaction - even with our spouses and children. The question we should all ask ourselves is: "Why did we let it go that far?" Why did we allow big corporations like Facebook manipulating our lives, influence our choices in life and get priority over the things that should matter the most to us in life? Why?

This article is about why we believe the FOMO syndrome is going to diminish and the Joy Of Missing Out is going to gain momentum. It is a beautiful symbiosis between syndrome created by ruthless corporations and our basic need for affiliation and appreciation. The good news is we are finding back to what really matters, and fortunately, companies like Facebook have no plan B. The JOMO - The Joy Of Missing Out movement has been born.

What is FOMO - The Fear Of Missing Out?

The definition in Wikipedia is quite clean and it summarises the various definitions used in academia. Fear of missing out, or FOMO, is "a pervasive apprehension that others might be having rewarding experiences from which one is absent".[2] This social anxiety[3] is characterized by "a desire to stay continually connected with what others are doing". FOMO is also defined as a fear of regret, which may lead to a compulsive concern that one might miss an opportunity for social interaction, a novel experience, a profitable investment, or other satisfying events.[5] In other words, FOMO perpetuates the fear of having made the wrong decision on how to spend time since "you can imagine how things could be different".[4][6]

 

A change is underway

The Verge can report that "Facebook’s user base is shrinking, particularly in the coveted 12- to 34-year-old demographic, according to new survey data compiled by market research firm Edison Research. The survey, which only collects data about users in the US (Facebook’s most lucrative market), found that an estimated 15 million fewer people use Facebook today than they did in 2017, with the biggest drop being among teen users and millennials." There are a lot of other surveys supporting that trend. In Gugin we can see that our coaching session about how to gain strengths from being disconnected have gained a lot of momentum the past couple of years.

We believe, and some research back that, that many of us have realised that virtual relationships are as virtual as the word implies. We need more. We feel betrayed by the social media platforms, that was supposed to bring us together, but they have done the exact opposite. We have become isolated individuals who are seeking the affiliation and appreciation on social media platforms that are raping us intellectually and emotionally. 

But we have got a collective wake-up call and we seek back to what really matters. That is good news. 

I am a regular contributor to Entrepreneur Magazine and last year I wrote an article about why I think we should all quit facebook. I got a tremendous amount of predominantly positive feedback. Most people thought they were alone with that idea, and suddenly they discovered they were part of a movement. 

JOMO is the new black

The Joy Of Missing Out is the new black. Close down your Facebook account and talk to real people. Feel the joy of not posting every incident in your life on Instagram. You can relax! No one cares about your endless series of selfies, where you pretend to be overly happy and on top of the world. They know you have an average life like everybody else, so they know you are faking it. But you still get a "like" for the attempt to fake it.

When you leave all that behind you and give the f*** finger to the corporations who are trying to make as much money as possible from for subconscious anxiety you set yourself free. More and more people are doing just that.

What drives the change towards JOMO

It is partly a cultural change and partly a generation attribute. As mentioned before Facebook has lost 15 million users in just one year in the segments that should secure them the future. The teens ans millennials are leaving facebook (or never sign ups) because they have witnessed their parent's addiction to facebook. Some even find it embarrassing that their parents sharing every aspect of their miserable lives on social media. Millennials also have a lot less sex than previous generations, which is rooted in the same cultural changes across the globe.

Privacy has become an important issue, especially for the younger generations. They are seeking back in big numbers to establishing real relationships, eating real food, meeting real people and getting a real life.

The rest of us should be proud of the younger generations, who can take responsibility for their own lives.

 

 

 

Dr Finn Majlergaard
Dr Finn Majlergaard

CEO Gugin, Professor, Author, Keynote Speaker, Author

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What separates a good leader from one who truly moves people? Research — and decades of cultural intelligence practice — point to one word: charisma. And unlike talent, charisma can be learned.

In 1979, Warner Records refused to send Prince on tour. Not because of his music — they knew he was exceptional — but because he lacked charisma. He couldn't yet move an audience. Fast forward one year, and Prince had transformed himself into one of the most commanding performers in the history of popular music. He didn't wait for charisma to arrive. He worked at it, systematically, studying and adopting the techniques of the performers he admired.

That story is not just about rock and roll. It is a precise metaphor for leadership. At Gugin, we have spent over two decades helping leaders across cultures and industries make exactly this kind of transformation — not by telling them to "be more confident," but by equipping them with concrete, learnable strategies rooted in emotional intelligence, cultural intelligence, and communication science.

 

Why Most Charisma Advice Fails

The most common advice leaders receive about charisma is frustratingly vague: project confidence, be warm, be present. These qualities do matter. But they are nearly impossible to "just do" on command, especially under pressure, across cultures, or in unfamiliar organisational contexts.

Research by Professor John Antonakis and his colleagues at the University of Lausanne Business School has shown that charisma is not a personality trait reserved for the few — it is a set of communicative behaviours that can be identified, taught, and practised. In their studies, randomly selected middle managers who underwent structured charisma training were subsequently rated by peers and subordinates as more charismatic, more competent, and more trustworthy. The training worked.

At Gugin, we have built on this science and gone further — weaving it together with emotional intelligence (EQ) and cultural intelligence (CQ) to create a leadership development approach that is both evidence-based and globally applicable.

The Nine Charismatic Behaviours — And What They Really Require

The Antonakis research identifies nine concrete charismatic leadership tactics: using metaphors and stories, showing moral conviction, expressing shared feelings, setting high expectations, using contrast and rhetorical questions, using lists, and animating communication with body language. These are the building blocks. But building blocks need a foundation — and that foundation is emotional and cultural intelligence.

Take metaphors, for example. A metaphor is only powerful if it resonates with the audience. In Gugin's cross-cultural leadership programmes, leaders quickly discover that a metaphor drawn from American sports culture may fall flat in a team from Northern Europe, and that a story invoking individual heroism may alienate a collectivist audience in East Asia. The charismatic tactic is the same; the cultural calibration is everything.

The same applies to moral conviction. Appealing to shared values is one of the most potent charismatic tools a leader has. But whose values? Which moral frameworks? A leader operating across multiple cultural contexts must understand that concepts like fairness, loyalty, duty, and hierarchy carry profoundly different weight in different cultures. High cultural intelligence — the ability to read, respect, and adapt to cultural difference — is what allows a leader to express genuine moral conviction that actually connects rather than alienates.

Emotional Intelligence: The Inner Architecture of Charisma

Charisma without emotional grounding is performance. It can work in the short term, but it rarely sustains trust. The leaders Gugin works with are taught to understand that emotional intelligence is not a soft supplement to charismatic leadership — it is its inner architecture.

Consider the tactic of expressing shared feelings. Antonakis identifies this as key: when a leader says "I feel the same uncertainty you do, and here is how I am holding it," they build identification and trust. But this requires real self-awareness. Leaders must be able to name and regulate their own emotional states before they can credibly reflect the emotions of others. In Gugin's programmes, we invest significant time in developing exactly this capacity — helping leaders identify their emotional triggers, understand how their inner states broadcast outward, and build the emotional vocabulary needed to communicate with authenticity.

Empathy — a core dimension of emotional intelligence — also directly underpins several charismatic behaviours. Setting high expectations while simultaneously communicating belief in others (another of the Antonakis tactics) requires a leader who genuinely sees the potential in the people around them. That kind of seeing is empathic. It cannot be faked over time. When Prince produced the band The Time for Warner Brothers, he did not simply demand excellence — he made each member believe they were capable of more than they thought. That is emotionally intelligent leadership in action.

Cultural Intelligence: Charisma That Travels

One of the most important — and most overlooked — dimensions of charismatic leadership in today's world is its cultural portability. A leader who is magnetic in one cultural context may be perceived as arrogant, shallow, or inappropriate in another. This is not a flaw in those audiences. It is a signal that charisma, like all communication, is culturally embedded.

Gugin's work in over 60 countries has shown us that the nine charismatic tactics are universal in their structure but must be culturally adapted in their expression. Rhetorical questions, for instance, invite participation and create anticipation — but their delivery must match the power-distance norms of the audience. In high-hierarchy cultures, a rhetorical question from a senior leader may silence a room rather than energise it. In low-hierarchy cultures, it may spark exactly the engagement intended. Cultural intelligence tells the leader which dynamic they are working in, and how to adjust.

Similarly, the use of storytelling — one of the most powerful charismatic tools — varies enormously across cultures in terms of what stories are appropriate, how direct or indirect they should be, and what kinds of protagonists resonate. Gugin teaches leaders to build a culturally diverse repertoire of stories and to develop the sensitivity to know which story belongs in which room.

How Gugin Trains Charismatic Leaders

Gugin's leadership development programmes integrate the science of charismatic communication with structured development in emotional and cultural intelligence. The process is iterative and experiential, not theoretical.

Leaders begin by gaining honest self-awareness: understanding how they are currently perceived, what emotional signals they project under pressure, and how their default communication style reads across cultures. This foundation phase often surfaces important blind spots — the technically brilliant executive who speaks too abstractly to inspire, the empathetic manager whose conflict-avoidance reads as a lack of conviction.

From there, leaders move into skill-building: practising charismatic communication tactics in safe, structured environments with real feedback. They learn to craft metaphors that carry cultural resonance, to tell personal stories that build connection without oversharing, to use contrast and rhetorical structure to sharpen their message. They receive coaching on non-verbal communication — the body language, vocal variety, and presence that Antonakis identifies as essential to bringing charisma alive.

Finally, leaders apply these skills in live contexts, with coaching support, and receive 360-degree feedback that tracks their progress. This mirrors the approach Antonakis found to be effective — group training combined with individual coaching — and embeds it within the broader cultural and emotional intelligence framework that makes the development durable and globally relevant.

Charisma as a Leadership Responsibility

There is a deeper point worth making. Charisma is not about making yourself more impressive. At its best, it is about making others feel seen, energised, and capable of more than they believed. It is about communicating in a way that bridges difference, builds shared purpose, and creates the conditions for people to do their best work.

In a world where leaders must navigate unprecedented complexity — technological disruption, geopolitical volatility, multi-generational and multicultural workforces — the ability to communicate with clarity, conviction, and emotional resonance is not optional. It is a strategic capability.

Prince didn't work on his charisma because he wanted to be famous. He worked on it because he knew, instinctively, that the music mattered — and that without the ability to connect, the music would never reach the people it was meant for.

The same is true of leadership. The work matters. Charisma is what carries it across.

 

About Gugin  |  Gugin is a global advisory firm specialising in cultural and emotional intelligence. We help organisations build the leadership capability to thrive in a complex, multicultural world. Learn more at www.gugin.com

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