I just say things as they are…

by Finn Majlergaard | 14. Apr, 2025 | Article, Blog

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"I just say things as they are" is a phrase you might hear quite often. Maybe even without paying attention to it. If you - as we do in Gugin work with leadership development, conflict reconciliation and cultural identities you DO pay attention to phrases like that. That is because they tell a lot about the person using it. And the things this phrase tells about the person using it is not good news.

What does "I just say things as they are" tell about the person saying it?

In December Gugin worked with a large private health clinic in Germany. They wanted our help to integrate 2 smaller healthcare clinics they had recently acquired. We were invited into the process quite late because things started to go wrong. Despite they were 3 healthcare clinics in the same field but with different areas of specialisation they had 3 very distinct cultures. Usually, that is a great foundation for a new company, but not in this case.

The acquirer believed that they could dictate everything and they expected the 2 acquired companies to do what they were told. That approach doesn't even work with a 2-year old so how can an adult, well-educated, successful CEO assume it will work with other adults, well-educated, successful people?

In a situation like this, we always start listening. I think there is a reason why we have 2 ears and only one mouth. The first meeting we attended was a steering group meeting for the integration team encompassing representatives from the 3 companies. The CEO was obviously annoyed by the discussion about how things should be organised. That was the first time we heard the phrase "I just say things as they are". Over the next days, we heard it many times when we were together with the CEO. We sensed she got more and more frustrated and so did the people around her.

Why do some people use that phrase?

The short answer to that question is that they have a low level of cultural intelligence. When you have a low level of cultural intelligence you have difficulty in seeing things from different perspectives and you might have difficulty in seeing remote connections. If you grew up in a monocultural environment and was educated in a monocultural environment you are disposed of. In a group where everybody agrees on how the world looks like, share the same values and norms you are likely to see other perspectives as wrong or even dangerous.

When we interviewed the CEO about how she looked at the transformation process she expressed a lot of fear. Fear that things would go wrong if they were not done her way. She had a strong belief in systems and rules and much less belief in people

How do other people receive that phrase?

Imagine you know you are competent, experienced and entitled to have an opinion. An opinion most other people agree with - except your boss. Constantly your boss knocks your argument and opinion down with "I just say things as they are". You don't agree with that it is how things are and you know you are not alone.

If you verbally are getting knocked down again and again - not by good arguments - but with "I just say things as they are"; how would you feel?

Yes. You get frustrated, angry and you will eventually look for another job. And that is what a number of the key people in the 2 acquired companies were doing. Some had already left and most of the remaining people were thinking about leaving.

Arrogance is a costly habit

When you buy a company in the healthcare industry your most important asset you are buying is intellectual capital. Up to 98% of the acquisition price is intangible assets.  That intellectual capital sits in the heads of all the people. These people go home every afternoon. If they don't come back you have lost a huge amount of money.

The accident had already happened when we were asked to help, so our first mission was to stop the accident from getting any worse. It didn't take us long to find the root of the problem, the CEO.

She acted the way she did because she was afraid of the new situation. She didn't know how to deal with uncertainty and as we got to know her better. It was obvious that she had been punished for failures in the past. And the best way to avoid failures is (wrong assumption anyway) doing things the way you have always done them.

We interviewed other people from the organisation at all levels and their verdict was clear. Their CEO was arrogant with no compassion. That misinterpretation is very common and if we don't intervene is just grows bigger.

The CEO's fear of uncertainty was perceived as arrogance. It is usually like that actually and fortunately, we know what to do in such a situation.

The solution

Here is what we did:

  • We took the senior management team through our cultural intelligence training so that they learned that there is more than one equally valid truth to almost everything and they learned how to decode other people's behaviour so that they could reconcile on a value level instead of starting a conflict.
  • We made an interview with the CEO where she explained why she wanted people to do everything her way. The interview was video recorded and shown to the other groups we did workshops for.
  • We made interviews with representatives with the middle managers and employees where they told about how they perceived the CEO's behaviour and that they really just wanted to make this integration process successful.
  • Now that everybody had a higher level of cultural intelligence they better understood the importance of decoding other people's behaviour correctly. They also learned that in a potential conflict they should start looking at the commonalities. When they did that it was much easier for them to overcome the differences. Often we human being have a tendency to look for the differences. When we do that it can be very difficult to find common ground.

What can you do?

The first thing you should do is to check if you use the phrase too. Most people are not aware that they use it. So ask for colleagues, friends, family etc. If you do use the phrase you should work on not using it. You can either just stop using it or acquire a higher level of cultural intelligence so you would not even consider using it.

If you find yourself in a similar situation like the one described above - call for help. It is unlikely you can resolve it on your own for that simple reason that you are involved in it. So please get in touch if you need our help. We work globally.

Get in touch here or send an email to gugin@gugin.com

Dr Finn Majlergaard
Dr Finn Majlergaard

CEO Gugin, Professor, Author, Keynote Speaker, Author

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What separates a good leader from one who truly moves people? Research — and decades of cultural intelligence practice — point to one word: charisma. And unlike talent, charisma can be learned.

In 1979, Warner Records refused to send Prince on tour. Not because of his music — they knew he was exceptional — but because he lacked charisma. He couldn't yet move an audience. Fast forward one year, and Prince had transformed himself into one of the most commanding performers in the history of popular music. He didn't wait for charisma to arrive. He worked at it, systematically, studying and adopting the techniques of the performers he admired.

That story is not just about rock and roll. It is a precise metaphor for leadership. At Gugin, we have spent over two decades helping leaders across cultures and industries make exactly this kind of transformation — not by telling them to "be more confident," but by equipping them with concrete, learnable strategies rooted in emotional intelligence, cultural intelligence, and communication science.

 

Why Most Charisma Advice Fails

The most common advice leaders receive about charisma is frustratingly vague: project confidence, be warm, be present. These qualities do matter. But they are nearly impossible to "just do" on command, especially under pressure, across cultures, or in unfamiliar organisational contexts.

Research by Professor John Antonakis and his colleagues at the University of Lausanne Business School has shown that charisma is not a personality trait reserved for the few — it is a set of communicative behaviours that can be identified, taught, and practised. In their studies, randomly selected middle managers who underwent structured charisma training were subsequently rated by peers and subordinates as more charismatic, more competent, and more trustworthy. The training worked.

At Gugin, we have built on this science and gone further — weaving it together with emotional intelligence (EQ) and cultural intelligence (CQ) to create a leadership development approach that is both evidence-based and globally applicable.

The Nine Charismatic Behaviours — And What They Really Require

The Antonakis research identifies nine concrete charismatic leadership tactics: using metaphors and stories, showing moral conviction, expressing shared feelings, setting high expectations, using contrast and rhetorical questions, using lists, and animating communication with body language. These are the building blocks. But building blocks need a foundation — and that foundation is emotional and cultural intelligence.

Take metaphors, for example. A metaphor is only powerful if it resonates with the audience. In Gugin's cross-cultural leadership programmes, leaders quickly discover that a metaphor drawn from American sports culture may fall flat in a team from Northern Europe, and that a story invoking individual heroism may alienate a collectivist audience in East Asia. The charismatic tactic is the same; the cultural calibration is everything.

The same applies to moral conviction. Appealing to shared values is one of the most potent charismatic tools a leader has. But whose values? Which moral frameworks? A leader operating across multiple cultural contexts must understand that concepts like fairness, loyalty, duty, and hierarchy carry profoundly different weight in different cultures. High cultural intelligence — the ability to read, respect, and adapt to cultural difference — is what allows a leader to express genuine moral conviction that actually connects rather than alienates.

Emotional Intelligence: The Inner Architecture of Charisma

Charisma without emotional grounding is performance. It can work in the short term, but it rarely sustains trust. The leaders Gugin works with are taught to understand that emotional intelligence is not a soft supplement to charismatic leadership — it is its inner architecture.

Consider the tactic of expressing shared feelings. Antonakis identifies this as key: when a leader says "I feel the same uncertainty you do, and here is how I am holding it," they build identification and trust. But this requires real self-awareness. Leaders must be able to name and regulate their own emotional states before they can credibly reflect the emotions of others. In Gugin's programmes, we invest significant time in developing exactly this capacity — helping leaders identify their emotional triggers, understand how their inner states broadcast outward, and build the emotional vocabulary needed to communicate with authenticity.

Empathy — a core dimension of emotional intelligence — also directly underpins several charismatic behaviours. Setting high expectations while simultaneously communicating belief in others (another of the Antonakis tactics) requires a leader who genuinely sees the potential in the people around them. That kind of seeing is empathic. It cannot be faked over time. When Prince produced the band The Time for Warner Brothers, he did not simply demand excellence — he made each member believe they were capable of more than they thought. That is emotionally intelligent leadership in action.

Cultural Intelligence: Charisma That Travels

One of the most important — and most overlooked — dimensions of charismatic leadership in today's world is its cultural portability. A leader who is magnetic in one cultural context may be perceived as arrogant, shallow, or inappropriate in another. This is not a flaw in those audiences. It is a signal that charisma, like all communication, is culturally embedded.

Gugin's work in over 60 countries has shown us that the nine charismatic tactics are universal in their structure but must be culturally adapted in their expression. Rhetorical questions, for instance, invite participation and create anticipation — but their delivery must match the power-distance norms of the audience. In high-hierarchy cultures, a rhetorical question from a senior leader may silence a room rather than energise it. In low-hierarchy cultures, it may spark exactly the engagement intended. Cultural intelligence tells the leader which dynamic they are working in, and how to adjust.

Similarly, the use of storytelling — one of the most powerful charismatic tools — varies enormously across cultures in terms of what stories are appropriate, how direct or indirect they should be, and what kinds of protagonists resonate. Gugin teaches leaders to build a culturally diverse repertoire of stories and to develop the sensitivity to know which story belongs in which room.

How Gugin Trains Charismatic Leaders

Gugin's leadership development programmes integrate the science of charismatic communication with structured development in emotional and cultural intelligence. The process is iterative and experiential, not theoretical.

Leaders begin by gaining honest self-awareness: understanding how they are currently perceived, what emotional signals they project under pressure, and how their default communication style reads across cultures. This foundation phase often surfaces important blind spots — the technically brilliant executive who speaks too abstractly to inspire, the empathetic manager whose conflict-avoidance reads as a lack of conviction.

From there, leaders move into skill-building: practising charismatic communication tactics in safe, structured environments with real feedback. They learn to craft metaphors that carry cultural resonance, to tell personal stories that build connection without oversharing, to use contrast and rhetorical structure to sharpen their message. They receive coaching on non-verbal communication — the body language, vocal variety, and presence that Antonakis identifies as essential to bringing charisma alive.

Finally, leaders apply these skills in live contexts, with coaching support, and receive 360-degree feedback that tracks their progress. This mirrors the approach Antonakis found to be effective — group training combined with individual coaching — and embeds it within the broader cultural and emotional intelligence framework that makes the development durable and globally relevant.

Charisma as a Leadership Responsibility

There is a deeper point worth making. Charisma is not about making yourself more impressive. At its best, it is about making others feel seen, energised, and capable of more than they believed. It is about communicating in a way that bridges difference, builds shared purpose, and creates the conditions for people to do their best work.

In a world where leaders must navigate unprecedented complexity — technological disruption, geopolitical volatility, multi-generational and multicultural workforces — the ability to communicate with clarity, conviction, and emotional resonance is not optional. It is a strategic capability.

Prince didn't work on his charisma because he wanted to be famous. He worked on it because he knew, instinctively, that the music mattered — and that without the ability to connect, the music would never reach the people it was meant for.

The same is true of leadership. The work matters. Charisma is what carries it across.

 

About Gugin  |  Gugin is a global advisory firm specialising in cultural and emotional intelligence. We help organisations build the leadership capability to thrive in a complex, multicultural world. Learn more at www.gugin.com

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