Here is why you will never become a leader no matter how hard you try - Gugin

5 reasons you will never become a Leader

by Finn Majlergaard | 13. Apr, 2025 | Blog, Article, featured

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Do you want to become a leader? Are you already a leader? Please read on and find out what we think it takes to become a leader regardless of field, geography, culture or age.

A lot of people want to become leaders. This article is about why you most likely will fail to become a leader. The article is also about what you can do yourself to change that situation. But you will probably find it is much harder than you anticipated.

The difference between a Leader and a Manager

There are many different definitions of leaders and managers. The one we use in Gugin is very simple. A manager is appointed by his or her boss while e leader is appointed by his or her followers. So the manager title is one that is ascribed to you while the leadership is one you have earned because a group of people trust you to lead them in a particular direction.

That means that becoming a manager is easy while becoming a leader is extremely difficult. If you want to become a leader you should also know that it is associated with a lot of risks while the acknowledgement you will get might be very limited if not totally absent - at least as long as you are alive.

So why is it that so many people want to become a leader? Inc Magazine has written a number of articles on this subject and you can read one of them here.

In this article, I will focus on why you don't succeed in becoming a leader. The article is based on the hundreds of leadership workshops I have facilitated over the years almost all over the world. The aspiration is not enough - it might actually be your biggest obstacle.

Below are our findings for why you will not become a leader. All of them might not apply to you but one or more will like to do. So afterwards you should think about first if you really want to become a leader and second how you are going to change so that your aspiration of becoming a leader can become reality. Our coaches can help you through the change process. Get in touch here so you can learn more about how we will make that happen.

1. You will not become a leader because you don't trust your instincts

People will look at you as a leader if you can see things they can't see; if you can come up with solutions they didn't even think of. Think about the people who have changed the world. Think about people like Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Napoleon Bonaparte, Julius Caesar and many many more. Did they go to business school taking leadership classes? Did they apply for manager jobs? No, they didn't. They had a passion for change - good or bad, and they believed they could achieve their goals through persistence, courage, creativity and instincts.

Have you ever been wanting to do something no one else in your social group has done before? If yes, then you are probably familiar with the common reaction that some people will give you 100 reasons why you won't succeed.

If you don't have a very strong instinct that you are going to do the right thing you will never get it done. If you want to become a leader you have to put common sense aside with all the warnings your surroundings will give you and move in the direction your instincts tell you to move. Can you do that?

2. You will not become a leader because becoming a leader is your objective

People will choose you as a leader because you can take them somewhere they can't go on their own. They might not have the skills, the courage, the creativity or the time. So they choose you as a leader. They choose a leader out of pure egoistic reasons. They don't care about you, they only care about themselves. The only reason they care about you is that you can get them where they want.

If they can see or feel that your main objective is to become a leader they will choose someone else - wouldn't you do the same thing?

If you have to pass through a minefield and you have no clue where the mines are who will you choose to lead you? 1. The minesweeper who put his own life at risk by leading you through the minefield or 2. The person who will draw you a map showing where you can walk?

If you are not entirely focused on the objective and goal of your cause you will never be considered a leader.

3. You will not become a leader because you have a low level of integrity

Remember; You cannot decide to become a leader. You are chosen by the people who need you as a leader. When they do that they look not only for your particular skills needed to lead them. They also judge whether or not you are a trustworthy person with a high level of integrity. By that I mean do you put your actions where your mouth is. Do you mean what you say, do you do what you say and do you do what you do because it is the right thing to do.

Unfortunately, a number (a lot actually) of business "leaders" think they can separate their personality from their job. They cannot despite their claim they can. We also have different perceptions of what a good leader is depending on the culture we are in but everywhere a good leader goes all-in with skills, personality, courage, experience, creativity, fears and love.

If you still want to become a leader you need a way to find out if you have a high level of integrity. A simple way to find out is asking yourself: Would I do this for free or if there were no recognition associated with it? If the answer is yes, then you might have it, but if the answer is no or maybe you certainly don't have it.

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4. You will not become a leader because you have insufficient life experience

When a group of people choose you to become their leader you take on a huge responsibility. They have chosen you because they believe they are better off following you than anyone else around. It doesn't mean you are 100% certain about everything. They have chosen you because they have a fear of doing it on their own. But you probably have a fear too. But you cannot tell anyone.

If you haven't been in a situation before where you had to hide your own fears in order to make your followers more comfortable you will probably not be very good at it. you can't share your fear with your followers. That will make them paralysed. You can talk about the risk associated with what you are going to go through together. But you will have to keep your fear to yourself.

Many years ago after a trip to the rainforest in Brasil, I got a lot of worms in my body - and they grew larger. I didn't feel anything until a couple of weeks later where I was rushed to the hospital. When I was on the table and the doctors were going to put me to sleep the last thing I head from one of the doctors before falling asleep was, "I can't do this". When I woke up I was terrified. I had to go through a number of surgeries to get them all out, but that was done at a different hospital.

You need life experience in order to deal with other people's fear if you want to become a leader. You followers will read your body language as an open book so you need life experience to feel comfortable dealing with other people's fear, uncertainty and anxiety.

5. You will not become a leader because you have too much education

You might consider that a pretty controversial statement, but you can't educate yourself to become a leader. You can educate yourself to become a manager but not a leader. Business schools throughout the world do however think that leadership sound more prestigious and attractive than management so they have leadership education instead of management education.

There is an ongoing discussion about whether leaders are born or they have learned to become leaders. Here is what I think - and I might, of course, be wrong.

I think we are all leaders but it all depends on the context. If you in a building where a fire breaks out don't expect all the MBA's and other people with leadership certificates to take responsibility for evacuating the building. The people who have less fear than the rest, people with life experience from a similar situation, people who care about others before themselves will step forward and take responsibility for evacuating the building. They are the true leaders. Is it something they are born with or something they have learned? If it is something they have learned they didn't learn it in a business school.

In Gugin we organise survival trips to the Borneo rainforest for management teams. These teams usually have a well-established hierarchy. But when they are far out of their comfort zone in a dark rainforest with sounds they have never heard before, they are all terrified. But some more than others. Like in the example above you can't expect the CEO to lead the rest far away from his or her comfort zone. Other members of the team will step forward and take the lead.

That experience revitalises a leadership team completely. You can read more about the trips here

What separates a good leader from one who truly moves people? Research — and decades of cultural intelligence practice — point to one word: charisma. And unlike talent, charisma can be learned.

In 1979, Warner Records refused to send Prince on tour. Not because of his music — they knew he was exceptional — but because he lacked charisma. He couldn't yet move an audience. Fast forward one year, and Prince had transformed himself into one of the most commanding performers in the history of popular music. He didn't wait for charisma to arrive. He worked at it, systematically, studying and adopting the techniques of the performers he admired.

That story is not just about rock and roll. It is a precise metaphor for leadership. At Gugin, we have spent over two decades helping leaders across cultures and industries make exactly this kind of transformation — not by telling them to "be more confident," but by equipping them with concrete, learnable strategies rooted in emotional intelligence, cultural intelligence, and communication science.

 

Why Most Charisma Advice Fails

The most common advice leaders receive about charisma is frustratingly vague: project confidence, be warm, be present. These qualities do matter. But they are nearly impossible to "just do" on command, especially under pressure, across cultures, or in unfamiliar organisational contexts.

Research by Professor John Antonakis and his colleagues at the University of Lausanne Business School has shown that charisma is not a personality trait reserved for the few — it is a set of communicative behaviours that can be identified, taught, and practised. In their studies, randomly selected middle managers who underwent structured charisma training were subsequently rated by peers and subordinates as more charismatic, more competent, and more trustworthy. The training worked.

At Gugin, we have built on this science and gone further — weaving it together with emotional intelligence (EQ) and cultural intelligence (CQ) to create a leadership development approach that is both evidence-based and globally applicable.

The Nine Charismatic Behaviours — And What They Really Require

The Antonakis research identifies nine concrete charismatic leadership tactics: using metaphors and stories, showing moral conviction, expressing shared feelings, setting high expectations, using contrast and rhetorical questions, using lists, and animating communication with body language. These are the building blocks. But building blocks need a foundation — and that foundation is emotional and cultural intelligence.

Take metaphors, for example. A metaphor is only powerful if it resonates with the audience. In Gugin's cross-cultural leadership programmes, leaders quickly discover that a metaphor drawn from American sports culture may fall flat in a team from Northern Europe, and that a story invoking individual heroism may alienate a collectivist audience in East Asia. The charismatic tactic is the same; the cultural calibration is everything.

The same applies to moral conviction. Appealing to shared values is one of the most potent charismatic tools a leader has. But whose values? Which moral frameworks? A leader operating across multiple cultural contexts must understand that concepts like fairness, loyalty, duty, and hierarchy carry profoundly different weight in different cultures. High cultural intelligence — the ability to read, respect, and adapt to cultural difference — is what allows a leader to express genuine moral conviction that actually connects rather than alienates.

Emotional Intelligence: The Inner Architecture of Charisma

Charisma without emotional grounding is performance. It can work in the short term, but it rarely sustains trust. The leaders Gugin works with are taught to understand that emotional intelligence is not a soft supplement to charismatic leadership — it is its inner architecture.

Consider the tactic of expressing shared feelings. Antonakis identifies this as key: when a leader says "I feel the same uncertainty you do, and here is how I am holding it," they build identification and trust. But this requires real self-awareness. Leaders must be able to name and regulate their own emotional states before they can credibly reflect the emotions of others. In Gugin's programmes, we invest significant time in developing exactly this capacity — helping leaders identify their emotional triggers, understand how their inner states broadcast outward, and build the emotional vocabulary needed to communicate with authenticity.

Empathy — a core dimension of emotional intelligence — also directly underpins several charismatic behaviours. Setting high expectations while simultaneously communicating belief in others (another of the Antonakis tactics) requires a leader who genuinely sees the potential in the people around them. That kind of seeing is empathic. It cannot be faked over time. When Prince produced the band The Time for Warner Brothers, he did not simply demand excellence — he made each member believe they were capable of more than they thought. That is emotionally intelligent leadership in action.

Cultural Intelligence: Charisma That Travels

One of the most important — and most overlooked — dimensions of charismatic leadership in today's world is its cultural portability. A leader who is magnetic in one cultural context may be perceived as arrogant, shallow, or inappropriate in another. This is not a flaw in those audiences. It is a signal that charisma, like all communication, is culturally embedded.

Gugin's work in over 60 countries has shown us that the nine charismatic tactics are universal in their structure but must be culturally adapted in their expression. Rhetorical questions, for instance, invite participation and create anticipation — but their delivery must match the power-distance norms of the audience. In high-hierarchy cultures, a rhetorical question from a senior leader may silence a room rather than energise it. In low-hierarchy cultures, it may spark exactly the engagement intended. Cultural intelligence tells the leader which dynamic they are working in, and how to adjust.

Similarly, the use of storytelling — one of the most powerful charismatic tools — varies enormously across cultures in terms of what stories are appropriate, how direct or indirect they should be, and what kinds of protagonists resonate. Gugin teaches leaders to build a culturally diverse repertoire of stories and to develop the sensitivity to know which story belongs in which room.

How Gugin Trains Charismatic Leaders

Gugin's leadership development programmes integrate the science of charismatic communication with structured development in emotional and cultural intelligence. The process is iterative and experiential, not theoretical.

Leaders begin by gaining honest self-awareness: understanding how they are currently perceived, what emotional signals they project under pressure, and how their default communication style reads across cultures. This foundation phase often surfaces important blind spots — the technically brilliant executive who speaks too abstractly to inspire, the empathetic manager whose conflict-avoidance reads as a lack of conviction.

From there, leaders move into skill-building: practising charismatic communication tactics in safe, structured environments with real feedback. They learn to craft metaphors that carry cultural resonance, to tell personal stories that build connection without oversharing, to use contrast and rhetorical structure to sharpen their message. They receive coaching on non-verbal communication — the body language, vocal variety, and presence that Antonakis identifies as essential to bringing charisma alive.

Finally, leaders apply these skills in live contexts, with coaching support, and receive 360-degree feedback that tracks their progress. This mirrors the approach Antonakis found to be effective — group training combined with individual coaching — and embeds it within the broader cultural and emotional intelligence framework that makes the development durable and globally relevant.

Charisma as a Leadership Responsibility

There is a deeper point worth making. Charisma is not about making yourself more impressive. At its best, it is about making others feel seen, energised, and capable of more than they believed. It is about communicating in a way that bridges difference, builds shared purpose, and creates the conditions for people to do their best work.

In a world where leaders must navigate unprecedented complexity — technological disruption, geopolitical volatility, multi-generational and multicultural workforces — the ability to communicate with clarity, conviction, and emotional resonance is not optional. It is a strategic capability.

Prince didn't work on his charisma because he wanted to be famous. He worked on it because he knew, instinctively, that the music mattered — and that without the ability to connect, the music would never reach the people it was meant for.

The same is true of leadership. The work matters. Charisma is what carries it across.

 

About Gugin  |  Gugin is a global advisory firm specialising in cultural and emotional intelligence. We help organisations build the leadership capability to thrive in a complex, multicultural world. Learn more at www.gugin.com

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